Local grandfather Harold Andrews has announced today that he will now exclusively send text messages in which all the words are completely capitalized.
In a release texted to reporters, Andrews typed, “I WILL NOW ONLY TEXT WITH CAPITAL LETTERS, AS IT IS EASIER TO JUST HAVE CAPS LOCK ON AND THE BIGGER LETTERS ARE BETTER FOR MY EYES.”
While Andrews had previously sent most of his messages fully capitalized, he did occasionally have messages where the opposite was true, with no letters capitalized at all.
Andrews’ release focused on the need for consistency in his messages, adding, “I HAVE DECIDED IT IS EASIER FOR MYSELF AND MY FAMILY TO ENSURE MY TEXTS ARE RECOGNIZABLE AND EASY TO COMPRESSION SORRY I MEANT COMPREHEND STIPID AUTOCORRECT. DARNIT STUPENDOUS. DARNIT! STUPID!”