Columbus, OH— Emerging, caked in sweat and grime, from the depths of his daughter’s Acura TL on Tuesday, local man Peter Ritter announced that this would be an easy fix.
“At first I thought it might be an issue with the alternator, but it started just fine, so I started going down the list,” the Ohioan explained to his daughter. “When that light comes on in there, you really gotta pay attention.”
Ritter then went on to recount his entire deductive odyssey through the machinations of the Japanese sedan. From the timing belt to the serpentine, from the coolant to windshield wiper fluid, the man assured his daughter, Jenny, that no stone had gone unturned.
The 22-year-old nonchalantly swiped through Tinder while nodding along to her father’s tale of a washer he had dropped while checking the spark plugs, and his daring pursuit beneath the car to retrieve it.
“I just didn’t want to pay some dude $300 for a check engine light. I didn’t expect to have to sit through all this,” Ms. Ritter later told reporters.
After describing his climactic battle with a stubborn dip-stick, Ritter triumphantly opined that all his daughter needed was an oil change.
“I can do that right here if you want!” he continued.