Breaking Report: Dad Just Resting His Eyes
Just in: Dad just resting his eyes for “a sec.”
Only moments ago, your father closed his eyes for what looked like a nap, but you should have known better. Although you’ve seen it a hundred times before — Dad, sitting in his regular chair, watching the tail-end of Double Jeopardy, nodding off into a semi-REM cycle — you were once again made a fool when your father explained he was only “resting his eyes.”
What a blunder you had made, to assume he would fall asleep at such a crucial point in the classic game of trivia. How foolish you had been.
Only seconds ago, point leader Bret Garrison had shot for the $1200 “Potent Potables” slot. There was no way your dad would have missed this one. His eyes were clearly just a little tired.
The Spaghetti Bolognese he had eaten two hours before the 3 o’clock run of Jeopardy clearly had no effect on his robust mental acuity. Everything, as you now know, was running quite smoothly, as his eyelids drooped into their primed position to call out the question response to the clue.
At press time, your father was heard sleepily muttering the phrase “what is an old-fashioned,” to an answer regarding absinthe and vermouth.
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