• Browse
    • Browse
    • Dad News
    • Father’s Day
    • Podcast
    • Satire
    • Reviews
    • Grilling
    • Hacks
    • Jokes
    • Sponsored
    • NFL
    • Gifts
    • Dads In The Wild
  • Satire
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • About
    • About
    • Our Story
    • Connect
    • Contact
    • Advertising & Sponsorships
    • Privacy Policy
Log In

  • Browse
    • Dad News
    • Father’s Day
    • Podcast
    • Satire
    • Reviews
    • Grilling
    • Hacks
    • Jokes
    • Sponsored
    • NFL
    • Gifts
    • Dads In The Wild
  • Satire
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • About
    • Our Story
    • Connect
    • Contact
    • Advertising & Sponsorships
    • Privacy Policy

Allen Wrench Voted Best Tool In Box For 5th Straight Year

  • July 23, 2019

It was a close call this year, but once again the Allen wrench came away with the win as the best tool in local man Frank Walker’s toolbox.

“Yep, it was a tough one,” Walker said, whimsically recalling the heated race. “Taking down the shelves in the shed was tough with all those stripped screws and the needle-nosed pliers pulled ahead for a while, but the good ol’ Allen wrench has taken the cake in the end once again.”

Critics have been quick to decry the decision as favoritism, but Walker has remained steadfast in the face of such accusations. Others, like neighbor and oft borrower of said wrench, Paul Thomson, have rushed to the winner’s defense.

“It’s not always going to be easy,” Thomson told reporters after the decision came out. “Every tool has a special place and time every year, but the Allen wrench has simply proven itself time and again to be the undisputed victor.”

Walker later admitted that the tie-breaking call came after he realized the Kobalt 9-key Standard Allen wrench also doubled as a decent bottle opener.


Share this

ShareTweet
GooglePinterestRedditTumblr

Related Posts

0 comments
Satire

Man Decides 13 Pizza Bagels Count As Dinner

Man Decides 13 Pizza Bagels Count As Dinner November 27, 2021
0 comments
Satire

Dad Offended When Asked If He Needed Help At Hardware Store

Dad Offended When Asked If He Needed Help At Hardware Store August 3, 2021
0 comments
Father's DaySatire

Dad Plans To Treat Self On Father’s Day By Mowing Lawn Twice

Dad Plans To Treat Self On Father’s Day By Mowing Lawn Twice June 10, 2021
0 comments
Satire

Man Buys Fifth Pair Of New Balances

Man Buys Fifth Pair Of New Balances May 3, 2021
Copyright © 2020 Classic Dad
  • About Classic Dad
  • Contact
  • Connect
  • Advertising & Sponsorships
  • About Our Ads
  • DMCA Process
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Privacy Policy