Claiming he had now “seen everything,” 38-year-old John Benson of Chicago was shocked after finding a magical combo of meat and cheese in the same package on the shelf of his local grocery store.
“I mean, sure, we’ve all seen the little snack packets of crackers with a tiny slice of cheese and a sliver of salami, but I’m talking a full beef stick and then a cheddar one right next to it!” he exclaimed. “This is even better than the first time I saw the words ‘ice cream’ and ‘cookie’ together back when I was a kid.”
According to Benson, society has now reached its apex.
“All I have to do is unwrap this thing and take a bite of both meat and cheese at exactly the same time,” he said. “What’s next? Flying minivans on the moon? Probably.”
Benson’s wife says this is the most excited he’s been since she bought him a new riding mower last Father’s Day.
“He’s already talking about eating a bunch of meat and cheese while he mows the lawn, since the combo is so convenient,” she said. “He’s an easy man to please.”