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Local Dad Preparing To Buy ‘Just, So Much Mulch’

  • April 17, 2019

Reports from Naperville, Illinois indicate that local dad Thomas Johnson is planning to go to a nearby Home Depot in order to, in his words, “buy, just, so much mulch.”

Johnson, who wants to get mulch “everywhere,” says he plans on getting as much mulch as he can possibly fit in his car for various lawn projects.

“Listen, I need mulch, and lots of it,” Johnson explained. “Frankly I wouldn’t be surprised if I ended up buying all the mulch they have in the store. It wouldn’t be the first time.”

When asked for his budget on how much he was willing to spend, Johnson just laughed and said, “Oh, there’s no ceiling.”


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