Dad Proudly Owns Just Two Suits

March 8, 2019

According to family and friends, father-of-three Jeremy Heckle, 44, proudly owns just two suits. Heckle, who works as a mechanic, insists that he has the “perfect” number of suits, and that “if you take care of your suit, it’ll last a lifetime.”

Heckle claims that he wears one suit, a brown ensemble purchased in the late 80s, to weddings and formal functions, while saving his black suit, purchased in 1993, for funerals. “I don’t see what I’d do with any other suits,” he claims. “These fit me fine, and they get the job done. You know how expensive suits get? No thank you, I’m good with my two.”

While Heckle only owns two suits, he does have nearly ten different sports jerseys to his name, which he claims are “much more versatile” articles of clothing.