Treadmill Officially Downgraded To Coat Hanger

February 27, 2019

Two years after its purchase by 43-year-old Brent Richards, the household’s NordicTrack Commercial 1750 has officially been downgraded from “treadmill” to “coat hanger.” The treadmill, which was originally used upwards of four times a week, has not been used in months, with clothes and coats slowly piling up on it, making its functionality as a treadmill all but impossible.

While the NordicTrack could regain its treadmill status through a combination of clearing clothing off the device and Richards suddenly deciding to pick up running again, as of this moment its status as an expensive and unwieldy coat hanger looks to be indefinite.

There is a chance, however, that the NordicTrack could still be downgraded further to the low status of “dirty laundry hamper.”