Dad Reminds College-Aged Son New Year’s Is For Amateurs

December 27, 2018

Milwaukee native Mark Benson recently told his son Kevin, who was home for holiday break from the University of Wisconsin, that “New Year’s is for amateur drinkers.”

“Battling long lines at the bar just to get like one drink every two hours? No thanks,” said the elder Benson. “I’m fine right here with my TV and my Coors.”

According to the 52-year-old, who can polish off a case of Coors Light and still fix the gutters without falling or ruining the siding, New Year’s is when people who can’t hold their liquor “play at being adults.”

“I wasn’t even planning on drinking this year,” said Kevin. “It’s not really cool any more. But I guess now I need to sit with my dad and learn how to pound or whatever he calls it.”