After losing 79.3-103.9 in his $20 buy-in, 12-team keepers league, and dropping his season record to .500, Fantasy Football player Sam Blissell has taken the loss weirdly personally.
“I can’t believe this!” Blissell was overheard shouting, in response to the NFL players he will never meet failing to achieve the projected point totals arbitrarily assigned to them by ESPN.
He continued by complaining about a historic play that he would have enjoyed if his opponent hadn’t started the player who executed it. “I mean, it was close, and then I of course have to go against Chubb when he goes off for a 92-yard touchdown! This is so stupid!”
Not helping matters is the fact that several of Blissell’s good friends are in the same fantasy league, and have teased him relentlessly for the poor performance of players that have exactly zero connection to Blissell as a person.
“Ugh, I suck!” Blissell concluded, pointing out that he is projected to lose next week by 12 points.