Local Dad’s Shocking Secret: He Doesn’t Even Own A Level

October 4, 2018

The Spartanburg, South Carolina community was rocked today by a shocking revelation from local man, Carl Henries. Despite being a dad and doing things around the house, he does not even own a level.

Apparently, Henries’ neighbor was over and noticed a few shelves that looked pretty straight, but not perfectly straight. This immediately arose suspicion, because these problems are usually easy to spot when one has a level. He initially dismissed his theory, but days after the visit, the uneven objects in the house ate away at him.

Finally, he confronted Henries, who responded by saying, “What? Oh yeah, no I guess I don’t have a level. Huh. Never really thought about that, really. Guess I’ve never really felt I needed one.”

How this will ultimately affect Henries’ status in the neighborhood remains to be seen, however dozens have come forward to claim that it makes sense, given the entirely amateur nature of the fence he put up last summer.