Neighbor’s Gutters Now 80% Leaves

September 11, 2018

According to credible sources, Michael Stratsford has not cleaned out his gutters in so long that they are essentially 80% leaves at this point.

Other nearby residents have taken notice, including one who pointed out, “I mean, I get that it’s a pain to climb up and clean those gutters out, but when there’s that many leaves in there, the gutter isn’t doing the job it’s supposed to do. Like, just look at all those leaves!”

Several explanations have been offered as to why Stratsford has not once tried to clear his gutters, despite being in his early 40s and seeming to be physically able to accomplish this task. They range from general laziness to one theory that this might be his first house and he doesn’t realize that you have to clean out gutters.

Stratsford did not respond to any requests for a comment regarding his gutters, though his wife was quoted as saying, “Ugh, don’t get me started about the gutters. Don’t get me started.”