Local Man’s Fantasy Team Already Hopelessly In Last Place

September 11, 2018

Despite only having played one week of fantasy football so far this season, Philadelphia resident Frank Burton is already firmly and hopelessly in last place in his standard 12-team non-PPR fantasy football league.

“I know it’s early, but I’m pretty much screwed,” Burton told reporters shortly after his embarrassing 42-109 loss in week one that featured a 2.6-point effort by Danny Amendola and 3.1 points from Nick Foles, who Burton drafted not knowing that Carson Wentz will likely take over the starting job within the next few weeks.

“I mean it didn’t help that I drafted Le’veon Bell first overall, and then traded him when I found out he was going to skip week one. And don’t get me started on Jerick McKinnon.”

This is not the first time Burton has been seemingly knocked out of contention this early in the season—just last year he was forced to auto draft and played most of the season with 4 kickers on his bench.

“That was probably the worst season,” Burton admits. “But this year is already pretty bad.”