Dad’s Running Shorts 3 Inches Too Short, Family Reports

June 26, 2018

Reports are coming out of the Sanders family in Dubuque, Iowa that father of three Jeremy Sanders has recently started jogging in shorts that are “at least” three inches too short. Sanders, who goes out multiple days a week to either jog or speed walk, claims that the shorts give him the mobility he needs, while his family has countered, “Oh God, we can see almost everything.”

Sanders’ previous running shorts erred on the short side, but his current pair has taken things “too far” according to his 15-year-old daughter, Alison. “I mean, the neighbors can’t even look at him when he’s out there. All you can see is his pasty old-man legs, it’s embarrassing. I’m like, cover up, dad!”

Sanders does not plan on altering his running attire anytime soon, telling members of the press that he’s “never felt faster” than he does currently.