Dad Reminds Daughter He’s Not Her Personal Chauffeur

December 20, 2017

Despite what his 14-year-old daughter Debra thinks, Bill Benson is not her personal chauffeur, he recently told the teen after she asked him to drive her to a friend’s house.

“Is my name Alfred and am I wearing a funny little hat?” Benson asked his bewildered daughter, who clearly didn’t understand that personal drivers used to have British names and small hats back in his day. “You can stay home for the night just like the rest of us.”

When Debra claimed she was going to just “order a Lyft,” Benson shook his head in dismay.

“I don’t know why you think calling it a ‘lift’ is going to change my opinion. I’m watching the game and that’s that. Don’t you have homework to do?”

After his wife explained to him that Lyft was a ride-sharing service, Benson was even more annoyed.

“Sharing rides with strangers. Yeah, that’s a great idea! Let’s all just jump in the car with axe murderers who probably don’t even insurance and haven’t checked their tire pressure in years!”