‘It’ll Fit In The Living Room,’ Says Dad About 25-Foot Christmas Tree

November 29, 2017

Ignoring protests from his family, Columbus, Ohio father-of-two Roy Henriks is currently insisting that the 25-foot-tall Christmas tree he is looking to purchase “should fit” in his family’s living room. Despite the fact that his living room is only 14 feet high, and that he made almost the exact same mistake last year that involved cutting the tree literally in half, Henriks insists the oversized Douglas Fir is “the one, absolutely.”

“Oh, don’t worry about size, the tree guys always try to overestimate the size of these things to make an extra buck,” Henriks was overheard telling his family. “And besides, you see that stump at the bottom? You can take a good eight inches off that stump and not miss a beat, no problem.”

Henriks also announced plans to buy a second, smaller tree, “maybe for the dining room,” which will almost certainly be used in the living room once the Douglas Fir is irreparably damaged while being jammed into the house.