6-Year-Old Son Mature Enough For Die Hard, Dad Decides

November 24, 2017

Citing his 6-year-old son’s “mental toughness” and general “love of action movies,” Chicago father Mark Tomlinson plans to watch Die Hard with his boy for the first time this holiday season.

“We were going to watch it last year, but the mother-in-law was visiting and she said it was too violent, so we had to watch Frozen instead,” Tomlinson complained. “Talk about a fly in the ointment. A monkey in the wrench. A pain in the ass.”

After rattling off another dozen quotes from the film, Tomlinson admitted the moment would be bittersweet.

“It’s tough because you can only see Die Hard for the first time once,” he said. “So, I hope Bobby is ready for it. Will he understand that Hans Gruber basically changed the game as far as bad guys go? Will he hate Ellis and that sleazy reporter? Only time will tell.”