Dad Winks As He Promises Not To Eat Candy Meant For Trick-Or-Treaters

October 13, 2017

After his wife purchased roughly 20 pounds worth of candy for the express purpose of handing it out to trick-or-treaters, father-of-two Harold Atkins promised that he would not eat any of the candy unless there were leftovers after Halloween. He emphasized this point by winking in a very exaggerated fashion.

When accused by his wife and children that his promise seemed disingenuous, Atkins doubled down on his claim. According to sources, he said, “Noooo,” then winked, “I’ll be good, I promise,” before winking again and adding, “this candy will only go to trick-or-treaters, and none will be paid as part of a dad tax, don’t you worry,” before winking one final time.

Atkins has a history of not keeping his word around Halloween, which was part of the reason why his wife purchased three more bags of candy than last year, when the family ran out of candy by 7 PM and had their house egged.

Atkins addressed this incident by saying, “I know I ate a lot of candy last year, but I learned my lesson, I’ll be good,” while winking numerous times. “My word is my bond. Wink wink wink,” he added.