Family Shocked By Grammatically Correct, Spell-Checked Text From Dad

July 1, 2017

The family of Brett Shephard was shocked today when the 43-year-old father of two sent out a group text message that contained absolutely no spelling or grammatical errors. This text, first reported by his 21-year-old daughter Ashley, has stunned a family used to incoherent and illegible text messages from the less-than-savvy cell phone user.

“Okay normally he tries to put like, a number in every other word,” Ashley told reporters. “Or like, just a bunch of nonsensical emojis. Oh, and he always accidentally puts an exclamation point instead of a question mark. But then today, he sent a text that said, ‘Hey guys, I’m going to the grocery store. Does anyone need anything? I think we’re out of milk, is that right?’ and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.”

“No one even responded, we were so shocked,” Shephard’s son Ryan added. “He came back with milk, even though we already had a full carton, because we didn’t know what to do with a text from dad that didn’t read like it was written by an illiterate parrot trying to mimic human speech.”

While no explanation for the clear, concise, and coherent text message has been given, the leading theory is that he was car pooling with a younger coworker, who he dictated the message to as he drove.

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