Dad Using The Wrong Emojis Again

January 21, 2017

Local dad Keith Anderson came under considerable fire recently by his 17-year-old son and 15-year-old daughter for his flagrant and downright confusing misuse of emojis in typical text conversations.

“It’s awful,” his son Dylan told reporters. “Like, he’ll text ‘going to the grocery store, need anything’ and follow it with a ghost emoji and a dog face emoji. And one time he texted me that I needed to be home by 12, but added the 100 emoji and a knife emoji, so I didn’t know if he was joking or threatening me.”

“It’s the worst,” agreed daughter Tiffany. “He keeps using the eggplant emoji when talking about what we’re going to get for dinner, no matter how many times I tell him that the eggplant doesn’t mean what he thinks it means. And don’t get me started about all the times he’s used the ‘three drops of water’ emoji in ways that were accidentally inappropriate.”

By far the worst offense, according to multiple sources, is Anderson’s belief that the correct “smiley” face is the emoji that sticks its tongue out while winking at you.

When he was reached for comment via text, Anderson told reporters, “I don’t really see the problem ? ? ?‍”