BLUE SPRINGS, MO— In what can only be described as a pathetic display, local man Dwight Dunn led two guests down into his self-styled man cave, which was really just an old basement with a TV.
“So I got the setup here, as you can see,” Dunn told his guests, gesturing broadly to the 34 in. Sony television balanced atop a repurposed end table.
“It doesn’t have cable yet, but once I get the guy out here next week, I’m gonna bring one or two of the folding chairs down, put ‘em up next to the dryer there, and just veg out.”
The two onlookers, friends Mark Renfro and Paul Bolton, could barely contain their pity as Dunn outlined his future plans for the lair.
“Once I get a little more time on my hands I’m thinking I’ll pull a sofa down here and maybe put up a few good movie posters. Pulp Fiction or one of those. I was thinking about a mini fridge, but it’s just one flight of stairs up to the kitchen so it’s probably not worth it.”
Renfro later told reporters, “I’ve seen a lot of man caves in my life, everything from pool tables to full home theaters, but I’ve never seen anything like this. Just sad.”
Bolton also chimed in. “Tom Wallace even showed me his sex dungeon once. I mean, that was a little odd, but at least it gave me and the boys something to talk about after tennis on Thursday. This? This was just humiliating.”
Renfro was later seen complimenting Dunn on the space through gritted teeth, as he listlessly kicked at the bare concrete floor.