Some heroes don’t wear capes. They wear sweatpants. Such is the case with Cleveland native Bob Benson, who finished an entire Domino’s pizza during the first half of the Week 2 matchup between the Cleveland Browns and New Orleans Saints.
“I was so into the game, I lost track of how fast I was eating,” said Benson, who weighs only 185 pounds, despite a 6’1 frame. “Next thing I know it’s halftime and there I am with an empty pizza box on the counter. I guess I should get rid of it before the wife finds out.”
Benson, who destroyed the pepperoni and sausage pizza in record time, considered bragging about the feat on social media.
“But then I remembered I’m supposed to be watching my sodium intake,” he said. “The last thing I need is my mom calling me saying she saw my Facebook post about the bad food I’ve been eating. Also, I think I was supposed to share that pie with the kids, so it’s best if I just get rid of the evidence and pretend like I forgot to order pizza entirely.”
Sadly, this is the most noteworthy accomplishment for Benson since the time he properly edged his lawn.