Multiple reports out of Yorkville, Ohio indicate that local 54-year-old father-of-three George Stephens has decided to once again cook bacon for breakfast without bothering to put a shirt on. Stephens had infamously decided to cook bacon shirtless a few weeks earlier, which resulted in the utterance of numerous curse words and minor burns from hot oil splattered from the pan and hit his bare torso.
Sources claim that Stephens has downplayed that previous incident by saying, “Oh I’ll just stand farther back from the pan this time. Don’t worry, look, it’s cooking, ouch, hot, ouch, I mean, the bacon’s already almost ready.”
When urged by his family to put on a shirt, Stephens declined, saying, “What? No need, I’m fine, trust me, OUCH, oh son of a…”